


Stupid Lovers

by emotionaltrinityfreak



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Don't Judge Me, Handcuffs, Kinky Shit, M/M, The Milk Fic™, Youtuber AU, idk - Freeform, it's actually pretty cute, these handcuffs aren't even used for sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 17:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13617750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionaltrinityfreak/pseuds/emotionaltrinityfreak
Summary: Brendon is a YouTuber who is constantly making his boyfriend Ryan help him complete challenges. Brendon spending four hours in handcuffs? Nothing they can’t handle.





	Stupid Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> based off a prompt i came up with and posted on Tumblr. follow me as emotionaltrinityfreak.

“What’s up, internet!?” Brendon exclaimed, speaking to his camera. His subscribers always loved hearing those words, and the chat section of his livestream was immediately overflowing with greetings from viewers around the globe. After almost a year, his channel had racked up 900k subscribers, and Brendon planned to use this livestream to make it one million. “It’s Brendon, and today I’m livestreaming the Four Hour Inmate Challenge! Thanks to Pete Wentz, for tagging me. Go show him some love, he’s trying to get to two million subscribers by Monday. Now, without further ado, let’s get to it, shall we?” Brendon lifted a pair of handcuffs for the camera to see. “I’ll be spending four hours in these. Kinky, right?”

“Oh my God, Brendon, you are the least mature person ever.” Ryan laughed from behind the camera.

“Hush, Ryan!” Brendon yelled dramatically. “Now, with the help of my lovely assistant, who also happens to be my boyfriend,” he began, to the joy of the viewers. He and Ryan had been together for almost a year. When Brendon had first started making videos, one could sometimes hear a voice in the background. After months of people begging him to reveal his correctly presumed boyfriend, Brendon filmed his ‘Very Gay Boyfriend Tag’ video. Almost anyone who watched Brendon’s videos was obsessed with “Ryden”, which they had been dubbed. 

Ryan stepped into the camera frame and, closed and locked the handcuffs, leaving the room with the key in hand.

“That’s it? You’re going to strip me of my freedom and leave me here?” Brendon asked theatrically.

“You asked me to handcuff you and not give you the key. I’ve done my job.” Ryan replied from the other room.

“You’re being grouchy!” Brendon pouted.

Ryan re-entered the room and swiftly planted a kiss on Brendon’s lips. “Better?”

“Yeah.” Brendon grinned. The Ryden shippers went wild, the chat section of the livestream overflowing with fangirl joy. “I’m not expecting you guys to watch for four hours straight, so just tune in and out as you please, we’re ending this at 5:00. ” he turned back to the camera, “the Four Hour Inmate Challenge starts now!”

And the four hours began.

\--

The first hour had gone quite well, although quite a bit of food had been spilled. However, their lack of certain food items wasn’t the reason Brendon and Ryan were going grocery shopping.

“Yes, we’re only going in to buy milk.” Brendon told the camera as they entered the dairy aisle. “Not that brand!” he reprimanded as Ryan reached for a half gallon bottle. “It tastes weird.”

“How much does it matter?” Ryan asked.

“It matters a lot, actually, since I’ll be…” Brendon trailed off, looking back at the camera. 

Ryan shook his head. “Fine, what should I take?”

“Hold on, ‘emotionaltrinityfreak’ asked, “What’s the milk for, Beebo?” ” Brendon smirked suggestively. “You’ll never know.” he replied with a wink, sending his subscribers into chaos.

“Fuck it, I’m taking half a gallon of everything.” Ryan muttered, filling the cart.

The two walked to the cash registers. 

“Okay, that’ll be $37.95. Any reason you guys are getting that much milk?” the cashier asked. She was a young girl in her early twenties, with a Felicity Smoak-like aesthetic.

“Trust me, you’d rather not know.” Ryan answered, pulling out his wallet.

She laughed. “Well then, here’s your receipt… is he wearing handcuffs?” she asked, eyeing Brendon fearfully. “Is he some sort of fugitive? Should I be calling the cops--”

“Relax, they’re doing the Four Hour Inmate Challenge.” another cashier chimed in from the next register over. She examined Brendon and Ryan, her eyes pausing on the vlog camera. “He’s a YouTuber. Brendon… something. My little sister’s obsessed. You seem cool.”

Brendon grinned. Something told him he had just gained two new subscribers.

\--

The rest of the third hour and the majority of the fourth hour consisted of baking. Ryan didn’t think it would end well, and frankly, neither did Brendon. Brendon had decided to make cupcakes, and was seated on the floor, directly in front of the oven, clutching a fire extinguisher for dear life as he explained to his viewers why eating cheese puffs with chopsticks was better.

“I’m just saying, it’s cleaner, and you learn how to--” Brendon was cut off by the sound of the oven timer beeping. In his startled state, he pulled the trigger on the fire extinguisher, coating the oven door in sodium and potassium bicarbonate.

“Do I need to call the fire department, or do you have it handled?” Ryan laughed as he walked into the kitchen, examining the scene. He turned off the oven, “There’s no way this stuff is safe to breathe.”

Brendon looked up at him from his spot on the ground. “I’m not opening that thing. I don’t know what the fuck those things might look like.”

“They’re fucking cupcakes, B, I think you’ll be alright.”

“Yeah, but I put a ridiculous amount of everything in them!” Brendon countered.

“How the hell did you do that?” Ryan asked, bewildered.

“I can only move my hands five inches apart!” Brendon looked back at the camera. “Hey, guys. Don’t worry, Ryan’s got it covered.”

“No, I don’t,” Ryan called as he exited the kitchen.

“Don’t make me take those things out myself! I’m scared!” Brendon ran after him.

\--

It was nearing the end of the final hour. Brendon was in his and Ryan’s room, answering a few questions. 

“No, water is not wet. Water makes things wet. Fire is not burned, dirt isn’t dirty. Water is not wet. To make something wet is to put water on it. You don’t put water on water, you just make a bigger puddle! It’s not that complica--” Brendon stopped, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began to shriek hysterically. He dropped to the ground, camera forgotten, and rolled across the floor.

Ryan heard Brendon’s sounds of terror and barged into the room, ready to kill whatever was attacking his boyfriend. Of all the things he had mentally prepared himself for in the short amount of time it had taken him to rush from the living room of the apartment to their bedroom, he wasn’t expecting to see Brendon squirming on the floor as though he were being crawled on by a spider.

“What the fuck, B? I was about to kill someone for you!”

“Ryan,” Brendon gasped, “help me,”

Ryan blinked, “I’m gonna need more than that, what do you want me to do?”

“Scratch my back.” Brendon said quickly, embarrassment spreading over him like a wildfire.

“I thought you were dying! Jeez, don’t do that!”

“Please, Ryan,” Brendon heaved.

“My fucking God, Brendon.” Ryan knelt beside him. “Okay, roll over.”

Brendon obliged. “Upper right corner,” he directed Ryan. “Higher, a little harder… there we go.” he sighed, relaxing. “Thank you.”

Ryan shook his head, “The stupid things I do to make you feel loved.”

“The stupid things you do because you love me.” Brendon finished.

And the shippers sighed contentedly, for their OTP were truly stupid lovers.

**Author's Note:**

> well, there's that short and sweet oneshot. hope you like it! follow me on Tumblr, i've got less than 10 followers and it's actually pretty sad. comment down below what my next fic should be, i only write bandom.
> 
> -Vinnie


End file.
